I would take “These people..” & change it to “This person…” & then it would be right. This particular person is absolutely wonderful! I have changed SO much and for the better since I’ve known him. He is truly inspiring.

Let’s hope I don’t screw it up…

Living Within Today

Sometimes it seems like we’re always putting off our goals until some vague time in the future called “Once”. “Once the New Year rolls around…”, “Once I have my new job…”, “Once I retire…”, “Once the kids are in school…”, “Once the kids are OUT of school…” Sound familiar? By waiting for Once to get here, we waste time and frustrate our desire to do what we really want. It’s a fact of life that every time one potential distraction disappears, it’s quickly replaced with a new one. There will always be something that can stand in your way – if you let it. Ask yourself: are these distractions real reasons, or just good excuses for putting something off? Goals cannot be started in the future. The laws of time and nature dictate that you can only act in the present. You are here, today. So are your goals. The only good time to start is right now.

Today’s Healthy Reflection reminded me of a conversation I just had the other day and I completely believe it. If you keep saying you will be happy or will succeed WHEN something happens, you never will be happy or succeed. You have to roll with the punches, be happy with what you have, and get back up every time you fall.

Here is a good quote that was included in the e-mail.

If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything, is ready, we shall never begin.

- Ivan Turgenev, novelist, poet, playwright

This rings very true in my life right now. Things are not moving fast enough! I am not reaching my goals or moving ahead in a timely manner and I am working hard to change that.

It is nice to have a journal to be able to reflect in and I hope that posts like this help others to reflect and be inspired as well.

You’re just a little bit aggravated by all the details that seem to be mounting up faster than you can deal with them, but help is on the way! As long as you can maintain your sanity, things should be fine.

I like posting my horoscopes, especially when they directly correlate with what is going on in my life at the moment. Oh, and HELLO JUNE! Only 3 days until my Half Birthday!

I have a lot going on right now. Aside from working 2 jobs, 6 days a week- I am working very hard to get back on track financially, academically, mentally/emotionally and physically. I have wanted to for awhile, but now I am finally in a situation where I am able to. Having a job I love really helps with the stress factor, and stress is the main thing that has been holding me back.

Financially- I am consulting with lawyers on the best step to take regarding my past problems with debt (a few credit cards, but mostly medical and some school-related stuff). I am considering filing Chapter 7 Bankruptcy. I had a few unavoidable medical problems in the past 3-4 years, and the bills for those, on top of bills I was able to handle at the time, are completely overwhelming. Whatever decision I choose to make will not be made with haste as this is something I have been researching for over a year and have the support of my family with whatever decision I choose to make.

Academically- I have filled out my re-application forms for Oregon State University and have to meet with the Head Adviser of the College of Liberal Arts to have them signed. I plan on starting back in the fall (if not summer) to at least get my transfer requirements perfect and squared away. I would love to finish my BS in Criminology and Criminal Justice through Portland State University’s Online program. The only problem with just enrolling in their program now, is that you must have their transfer requirements fulfilled, and have official transcripts with the application. I have completed my AAS in Criminal Justice at the local community college as well as 3 years at OSU. I still owe the community college money (I’ve been making monthly payments) and they won’t release my transcripts until it is paid in full. Well, I’m sick of waiting (it has been 2 years since I “graduated”) and I really have no way to pay them in full. 3 years at OSU should be enough to cover the transfer credits, but in my case, it is not.

I need to go back to school, not only because I crave the knowledge as well as the degree, but because my student loans are all currently in Forbearance status due to my financial situation. The break that I am getting won’t last forever and I’m going to have to start making payments on my loans. That is something that I really can’t afford to do right now. I need to go back to school, finish my degree, and make the steps to start my career – so I not only have something to show for all those loans, but so I can afford to pay them back.

Mentally/Emotionally- I have been focusing on making to-do lists and actually getting the things done. For the first time since I moved into my apartment (in April 2006), I have been deep cleaning. Today I spent hours scrubbing my stove, kitchen counters and walls, cleaning out and organizing my cupboards and drawers, etc. I also cleaned my bathroom and closet. Next I need to clean out my toiletries (on my bathroom shelf) and all my medicine/first-aid stuff in my bathroom drawers. I also need to go through my drawers and closet again and get rid of tons of clothes that I never wear anymore. It helps that my Mom runs a consignment clothing boutique. It just feels so good to finally be getting things done and to slowly but surely be getting back on track.

I have also been focusing on my sleep habits and working on exhausting myself during the day and not working out so late in the evening, so I can sleep a full night. I got a new black satin sleep mask a few months ago, as well as a nature sounds alarm clock. I love falling asleep listening to the rain sounds! I also got Sleepytime tea and Simply Sleep tablets for nights when I have to force myself to sleep, or am having trouble winding down.

This was supposed to be finished yesterday but I didn’t get the chance!! TO BE CONTINUED (with more on my mental/physical health) …. soon~!

P.S. Does anyone want to help me with my CSS? My bold/italic things aren’t showing up in my entries or subpages and I just noticed that all the smilies aren’t aligning!! Thanks Karol & Lynn!

I still need to work on some bugs and css/coding issues as well as finish re-vamping my pages (girl/faq/site/etc). If you find a broken link or something that doesn’t quite seem right, LET ME KNOW!

I’m watching the rest of Real World Hollywood on the MTV website, and then I’m headed to bed.

Oh & don’t forget to tell me what you think of the new design!

Night lovers! ♥