Positives and Negatives as of late

-being lonely
- working in a smoky bar.. as a non-smoker this is really hard on me
+ loving my job!
+ lots of bday celebrations
- Drinking 5 times in a week and a half and being so hungover 2x that next day barf-ness was involved
+ making money
- not making enough money to get out of my immediate hole
+ Going home for Christmas Dec 24-27 ! I miss my family so much
+ Getting another Hooters tank from Chris (an official CHRISTMAS Hooters tank!)
- Certain guys not returning text messages
- Stupid evil stretch marks
+ Troy and Marcus making amazing cartoon pictures especially for me!
+ Getting paid tomorrow
- All the money going straight to back rent (
- Not being able to pay my car pymt/insurance

I just got SO much done! After work, I called my mom and ranted for a half hour then I ate some leftovers and went to the gym. As soon as I got home, I passed out for 3 hours and then woke up and went to have some late night happy hour snacks with my friend Matt. When I came home I cleaned off my desk, organized bills, got all my Christmas cards addressed and ready to go, planned my next 3 days (days off), made a grocery list, installed my new Microsoft Lifecam (TY Chris! ♥), replied to Flickr/site comments, returned a bunch of e-mails, and updated my site! OMG… That’s a lot for me.

I need Adderall.. anyone wanna help? haha I have been prescribed it before and have the documentation to show any doctor I go to that I need to be prescribed the drug again. The problem is, I can’t afford to see a doctor because I don’t have health insurance. I also can’t afford to pay full price for the drug. I went crazy and ranted about like 30 different issues to my mom today and finished off the rants with “I need Adderall again.” My mom doesn’t agree but as far as this goes, I don’t care. I miss feeling content. My mind moves faster than I can move which is pretty damn fast. I just need to focus! If I was back on it, I bet I could get back on track with finances and my fitness/nutrition and actually sleep at night. Miracle?
My gym membership expires Thursday December 20th and I’m going to cry. The gym is my outlet. I need to come up with $120 AFTER I get all my bills taken care of to renew it for 3 mos. I just need to start selling stuff again. Ugh, stress!

I can’t wait to go spend a few days in Bend with the fam and just get away. It is going to rain HARD here for the next week straight. HELLO FLOODS! I wish I could afford to go Christmas shopping this year! Even if just to get a few small gifts for the people that mean the most to me. I need a second job…

Ok well I think this is my cue to go to bed. I have SO much to do tomorrow.

p.s. This layout looks horrible in IE but I’m gonna fix it soon!

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